i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
