kristin has been a bad kristin
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
