Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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