Jerry, you need to find god
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
