oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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