ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My feet surprised me
Randomize
