literally had 100 drinks last night.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
