Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just pee around me
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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