If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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