He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
