Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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