So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
