he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
