So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
