a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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