I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
