I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
