It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
