How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
