i think i have herpe
just one?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I enjoy the company of your penis
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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