you guys were way drunker than both of me
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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