How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
