My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize