i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
