dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
