U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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