Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
