i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
