Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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