please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
