How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
