After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
