its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
