I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
