I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
