Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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