Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
