We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I think I sprained my soul last night
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
