i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
