i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
