season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
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