i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
