I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
