never play flip cup with pint glasses
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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