I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
