so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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