I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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