my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
