I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
