New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
