i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
