He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I will be naked everywhere
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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