So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
