The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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