Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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