Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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